Parenting Foundations Part 3: How To Actually Improve Behavior. When our kids aren’t listening, we often see them as the problem. We think, “Why is it so hard for them to do what I asked?” Key Idea: Instead of seeing our kid as the problem, we want to be on the same team as our kids, working together to solve a problem. And why is this so important? Because when we are on the same team as our child our defensiveness is lower and connection is higher. And with connection comes cooperation. And th